Rump Chat

The slimmer, sexier cousin of the Rumpus blog*.
Submit anonymous tips and get your campus gossip here. (If it's good enough, we'll even put your tips in our next issue.)

*No names will be published (defamation lawsuits, etc) without written consent of said person.

Anonymous reported: Grad students, start using your trackpads. All of Sterling doesn't want to hear your constant mouse clicks.

NO. MOUSE. CLICKS. EVER.

Anonymous reported: Sighted: Two people making out on 7M in SML. Foreplay for staxx sex?

7M? stop showing off. no one is impressed. you’re not the Edmund Hillary (or Tenzing Norgay) of makeout locations. just stick to the American Studies reading room on the 6th floor like the rest of us

Anonymous reported: rump mama, have you ever fucked or let someone fuck you between the thighs? asking for a friend

personally, we haven’t—we hear it’s mostly a thing for ancient greeks and their modern-day counterparts, sexually frustrated DSers

for those uninitiated or unaware of “the Ivy League Rub”: link

Anonymous reported: anus?

what’s the deal with anus? and if there’s more than one—anuses? ani?

Anonymous reported: why the fuck is rumpchat all blurry and shit on my retina display

we have to blur the naughty bits—FCC mandate

Anonymous reported: god bless you for introducing me to the wonder of the cambodian prime minister - i'd illegally bomb his country anytime ;)

WOAH there cowboy 

but tbh we understand—Hun Sen is looking fine these days

Anonymous reported: Rump Mama, why are there 2 chainz on the Elm Street gate to old campus?

PULL UP TO THE SCENE WITH MY CEILING MISSING

PULL UP TO THE SCENE WITH MY CEILING MISSING

PULL UP TO THE SCENE WITH MY CEILING MISSING

PULL UP TO THE SCENE WITH MY CEILING MISSING

MIDDLE FINGER UP TO ANYONE TRYING TO GET TO L-DUB AFTER DUSK

Anonymous reported: rump, my life is basically Why'd You Call Me When You're High? by the Artic Monkeys. Thoughts?

we hear there’s another arctic monkeys song called “suck it and see”

so maybe try that? 

Anonymous reported: why the hell is the ycc president sending me a personal email to buy a sweater? is he a sales rep for random companies as a side job?

we’re just waiting for the day when one of the PINK brand reps becomes YCC prez and we’ll finally have the beautiful union of corporate america and small-scale politics that Citizens United promised

Anonymous reported: re: birkenstocks - i'm actually politically apathetic. your move.

PLOT TWIST IN WHAT IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE LEAST DRAMATIC SAGA TO EVER PLAY OUT ON AN ANONYMOUS INTERNET FORUM