Rump Chat

The slimmer, sexier cousin of the Rumpus blog*.
Submit anonymous tips and get your campus gossip here. (If it's good enough, we'll even put your tips in our next issue.)

*No names will be published (defamation lawsuits, etc) without written consent of said person.

Anonymous reported: the girl i'm in love with is a republican and wears birkenstocks. i don't understand her. what do i do

uhhhh dude republicans have toes too this isn’t like Roald Dahl’s The Witches

Anonymous reported: A bit concerned by the sudden influx of food delivery campaigns across campus this week -- Foodler, then GrubHub... what's next? YaleDiningDelivers?

god if only

if you are a regular reader then you should know by now that we here at Rumpus are huge fans of Yale Dining and if it were possible to get kitchen sink cookies at all hours of the night we would freaking do it we wouldn’t ever sleep or leave our rooms and then we’d be on that show Hoarders and they’d come dig our corpses out from under 3 feet of ravioli w/ sage butter

Anonymous reported: What's going on tonight mama rump?

tonight? it’s a school night. do the dishes and go to bed early. and no staying up late reading comic books, young man

Anonymous reported: What's a lonely, introverted, nerdy senior to do for love?

love? there are some things money can’t buy. for everything else there’s penny drinks at Saturtoads and free prophylactics at the women’s center

Anonymous reported: CONFIRMED: the Greek yogurt I dining halls is actually sour cream

WHAT that’s insane you should probably make a documentary about it like Loose Change 

side note: apparently Loose Change had a soundtrack album called “The Beats of Loose Change” which is a beautiful intersection of fat beatzzz to shake to & insane conspiracy theories

just like getting down in the club, refuting the media’s account of 9/11 with nothing but your hips

Anonymous reported: Just bought a 4 pack of Red Bull from Durfee's, then shotgunned all of them. How do you stop the world from shaking rump mama???

we hope u survived and if it happens again maybe you can find some G&G major with a seismograph & rock their world

Anonymous reported: Who's the super tall tennis cutie, rump? I wouldn't mind handling his stick ;)

can’t believe you missed out on the opportunity to tack “& fuzzy balls” on the end of that line

Anonymous reported: why the fuck is every senior on campus applying to Bain. go to med school please

are those really the only options anymore, playing w/ other people’s money or playing with other people’s bodies?

is this the crisis of post-modernity?

you have to choose between Monopoly and Operation after 4 years of Trivial Pursuit?

fuck that, man—we’re all about Candyland

Anonymous reported: Is it discouraged or encouraged to heavily pregame my sophomore CEE bystander intervntion sex workshop?

far be it from us to discourage pregaming anything (esp. because not a single freshman pregamed our info session on monday—way to be, 2018)

and you never know, maybe drunk you could be the CCE workshop equivalent of a CPR dummy