Rump Chat

Have a Great Summa Betches!!!

Hey Y’all, Rump Chat is on summer hiatus! We’ll miss all you sexy betches and your crazy stories fo sho.  

Fall does seem like such a long time from now to go without betchiness updates, so feel free to submit stories from around the world and from time to time we’ll blast y’all with a bunch.

Love y’all like Bieber loves permanent prepubescence,

Rump Mama

Anonymous reported: Rumpus what am I gonna do without you this summer? Wahhhh

We’ll miss you too babe. Every time you open a bottle of Dubra, think of us, poor some on the ground for your homies

Anonymous reported: Which juniors in Saybrook broke a table at Viva's last Friday? Happy cinco de mayo eve!

Es una revolución! 

2012

Anonymous reported: Which two drunk Yalies broke windows in McClellan and wound up with the NHPD on their asses?

Answer: the ones that need to realize that there are easier ways to make the NHPD come a trollin’——having fun was more than enough

Another night of passive aggressive library submissions reminded Rumpus of this betch:

http://www.viralviralvideos.com/2011/12/09/asian-student-freaks-out-at-talkers-in-csun-library/

Here’s hoping one of y’all become famous

Anonymous reported: Which pierson student poured his red solo cup out his third story window this afternoon then filled it up with orange juice? Yeah, we saw that.

So you were just staring up his window? That’s not creepy at all, we do it all the time

Ugggghh Steven Mendoza just look down ONCE

Anonymous reported: Which TD senior in Theta keeps bragging about how she has never had a one night stand?

lolz you make it sound like it’s a bad thing that she controls her hormones.

This would only be bad if literally the first thing she says to you is, “Hey!!!! I’ve never had a one night stand! *(sticks nose in airvindignantly) How are finals going??” 

Anonymous reported: girl. twerking. on table/bench. at vivas. encouraged to stop. did not stop.

This betch?

Anonymous reported: which sophomore girl and freshman guy were spotted leaving WLH at 5 in the morning, hair disheveled and the guy's shirt inside out? feisty study break????

Answer: Yea probably—-at least they were smart and didn’t do it in the library—then all the passive aggressive library betches woulda went OFF

“Rumpus, which inconsiderate couple is screwing in Sterling (which is now a whorehouse)?? I DON’T WANT TO HEAR HER FAKE MOANS THROUGH MY BOSE HEADPHONESSS”

Anonymous reported: Hey Rumpus! When can we expect an online version of the senior society issue? Some of us weren't quick enough to pick up dhall copies.

Shit you can just come get the rest from Rumpus’ room cuz we’re leaving in 3 hours Sorry y’all packing up Dubra and spanks all day, back at it tomorrow

——-

Update: *ya there are a bunch of Secret Society and 2012 50 Most Issues in Dport dining hall because we needed to get that shit out of our room wanted you to be able to get a copy:)

Online Secret Society issue coming soon as our layout goddess kicks finals ass, rock it out Rbaybay