Rump Chat

The slimmer, sexier cousin of the Rumpus blog*.
Submit anonymous tips and get your campus gossip here. (If it's good enough, we'll even put your tips in our next issue.)

*No names will be published (defamation lawsuits, etc) without written consent of said person.

Anonymous reported: what's the deal with blue state no longer letting people bring outside food in????!!? all i want to do is eat my durfee swipe and drink coffee in peace

blue state? more like blackshirts

also that’s a weird rule considering their rather limited selection of food

rise up, students of yale

reject this tyranny of $5 parfaits

Anonymous reported: Intercrural sex???!! What about intramural sex. ...

sounds like a lot of effort for an amateurish version of a real thing that’s ultimately not that fun and a bad use of your time 

Anonymous reported: I kind of want to get high with one of rumpus's editors and fool around. How should I make that happen?

email yalerumpus@gmail.com ????

Anonymous reported: WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS UP WITH ALL THE YALE SERVERS RIGHT NOW??? dammit at least if it had happened last night we could all have just gone to woads or something

it’s fine now

Anonymous reported: just walked in on a couple having sex in the basement of 17 hillhouse

what? where else can u have sex on this campus? a common room? a dining hall salad bar? TD Butt? Intersection of Edgewood & Howe? J Crew men’s section? slipper tunnel? bass media lab? that little desk thing when you walk into payne whitney? new SOM building? old SOM building? BASEMENT OF 15 HILLHOUSE??!!!

Anonymous reported: I've renamed the Snapchat display name for every guy I've ever been involved with while procrastinating for my midterm. Great examples include "Rapey Frat Dude", "Emotionally Confused Asshole", and "Always-horny Ex-fuckbuddy". I highly encourage the exercise for all Yalies. It was unexpectedly satisfying.

power 2 the people

but actually that’s a brilliant plan

our new snapchat best friends:

1. Vodka

2. Alpha Delta Pizza

3. Nap

Anonymous reported: ♪ i like big thighs and i cannot lie ♪ —baby gettin intercrural

why is it a baby getting intercrural

i don’t know if babys should be implicated in this

Anonymous reported: What if Friendsy had an "intercrural sex" option

didn’t you go to a CCE workshop? “hooking up” can mean almost anything but it probably means intercrural sex

Anonymous reported: mamarump how do I deal with midterms

midterms? more like midTOADS amirite

Anonymous reported: Repeated nightmare from the couple nights because of too much studying: Nikita Khrushchev is chasing me while yelling intermediate macro formulas. Any way to get rid of this dream mama rump?

you can’t get rid of the dream but if you learn how to dream lucidly maybe you could convince Nikita to show you his “stockpile of ICBMs”—reportedly it’s huge