Rump Chat

The slimmer, sexier cousin of the Rumpus blog*.
Submit anonymous tips and get your campus gossip here. (If it's good enough, we'll even put your tips in our next issue.)

*No names will be published (defamation lawsuits, etc) without written consent of said person.

Anonymous reported: FCC elections already getting brutal, annoying Calhoun freshmen went door to door announcing candidacy

ugggghhhhh don’t they realize that all the cool freshmen just make business cards when they want to advertise something no one gives a shit about

Anonymous reported: SLENDER MAN IS COMING FOR US ALL

it’s your own damn fault for swiping right on tinder

Anonymous reported: Someone needs to come videotape Michael Herbert's conduct in MGT 505. I'm convinced it's performance art. Oh, and the YCC did *nothing* to get undergrads full credit for that class.

*Herbert Moates

also we’re only interested if it approaches Seedbed-level weirdness

Anonymous reported: HUMILITY decisions are out. Do you have the list Mama Rump?

literally every other week there’s a 2000-word think piece in the Atlantic about what’s wrong with the Ivy League

which is sad because it would be so much more time-efficient to just point out that there’s a super-exclusive resumé-builder of a seminar called “Humility”

Anonymous reported: Why was there no camp Yale naked party this year, Rumpus? Are the new pundits just super lame?

just like the infamous “personal pizza,” the only difference between a normal party and a naked party is determination—that and your willingness to potentially end up on some kind of registry somewhere

Anonymous reported: You know that moment when you hook up with a guy and he makes reference to having slept with a priest and you realize you've both pseudo-dated the same seminarian?

all this story needs is a punchline that’s probably a play on the words “seminarian” and “semen”

that, and a rimshot

u deserve a rimshot, anonymous. you really do

Anonymous reported: What movie are they about to film on cross campus and what is the huge stage apparatus for? This better be worth it.

if by ‘movie’ you mean ‘avant-garde dance production’ and by ‘film’ you mean ‘avant-garde dance’ and by ‘cross campus’ you mean ‘avant-garde dance location’ and by ‘huge stage apparatus’ you mean ‘huge stage apparatus on which to have an avant-garde dance production’ then yes, it is worth it (assuming you’re into avant-garde dance)

Anonymous reported: Literally just saw a raccoon in dport courtyard from like 2 feet away wtf.

we had an uncomfortably close interaction similar to this with a possum between BK and trumbull and then again at Book Trader seeing former Dean Mary Miller two tables away 

Anonymous reported: Know what's really fun? Sitting on old campus and watching drunk freshmen trying to figure out how to work the high street gate. Prime people-watching.

enjoy it while you can—they wise up quick

some freshmen were clever enough to put fake emails on our sign-up sheet at the EC bazaar but the joke’s on them because they don’t get invited to our parties now

but if you think you have what it takes, email editors@yalerumpus.com

Anonymous reported: Is the YCC behind the new 1-ply napkins? We need answers.

nah we saw president of The Council™ Herbert Moates reading 50 Most during the extracurricular bazaar so clearly they’re not that busy

our guess is the Yale Corporation needs to keep the cost of napkins low because we can no longer wipe BBQ sauce off our jowls with print copies of the New York Times