Anonymous reported: why was a naked blonde girl running around campus the other night? rumpus I saw her twice, seemed a bit excessive.
Excessive? It’s progressive. Go naked people! #rhyme
Anonymous reported: Which clarinetist's cell phone rudely went off during a concert? She then proceeded to run off stage and knocked over a flautist's music on her way.
Well, we weren’t there… but we did just look up orchestra jokes online and found this gem:
Q: How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
A: Put it in a viola case.
(We don’t get it either, but the thought of someone understanding this is fantastic.)
Anonymous reported: rumpus i haven't had an orgasm with a hookup since february. is it me or is it them?
Well, if you want to get all scientific, you need a control for your test: Masturbation.
Anonymous reported: Rumpus, are professors actually ever serious when they say "writing this paper should be FUN!"?
They either hope it is or they just are trying to make you feel a little better so you avoid this:
Anonymous reported: If I've slept with 3 out of 4 members of a suite, I might as well get the last one, right?
Definitely, couple that with the 7-year challenge and you’re an all star.
Anonymous reported: Overheard at Yale: Freshman asking, "What is L-Dub? Like what kind of a thing is that?" Someone needs to teach these children.
L-Dub is an odd nickname for a building, it always reminds us of something that has to do with weed like a Large-Dub.
Happy 4/20!
Anonymous reported: Which of the "most impressive 26" nominated himself for the honor?
In our mind, everyone should have because having to submit people who are more “impressive” than you is horrible.
Anonymous reported: I've been here for a whole year now and still haven't gotten laid. How do I change this before the end of freshman year? Help! (serious question)
Oh, a serious problem needs a serious answer: Spring Fling.
Anonymous reported: I'm a graduate student that's falling hard for an undergraduate.
A forbidden love! Show the undergraduate your affection by buying them drinks at Toad’s.
Anonymous reported: Mama Rump, you got something wrong. I'm in a sophomore society.
No… that’s not real.
